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توجه ! این یک نسخه آرشیو شده میباشد و در این حالت شما عکسی را مشاهده نمیکنید برای مشاهده کامل متن و عکسها بر روی لینک مقابل کلیک کنید : حکایت‌ها و لطیفه‌های انگلیسی!



مريم
08-08-12, 06:41
احساس کردم جای همچین تاپیکی توی سایت خالیه!یه بخشی که متنهای جالب یا یه حکایت دوستداشتنی یا هر موضوعی از این قبیل بهش برخوردیم بذاریم تا بقیه هم بخونن!
به نظرم اکثرمون در یه حد ساده و ابتدایی به زبان انگلیسی آشنا باشیم!:):victory:
هر کسی مطلب گذاشت می تونه چند تا عبارت هر موضوع رو ترجمه کنه و در انتهای مطلبش بذاره!
همین دیگه !!!:D

مريم
08-08-12, 06:55
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,
'I know what the Bible means!'
His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know'
What the Bible means?
The son replied, 'I do know!'
'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?'
'That's easy, Daddy...' the young boy replied excitedly,' It stands for 'Basic
Information Before Leaving Earth.'



Bible:کتاب مقدس-انجیل


=======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk.

'Only the Ten Commandments. ' answered the lady.


========

'Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good morning, Lord,' and there are those who wake up in the morning and say,
'Good Lord, it's morning.'

مريم
08-08-12, 07:26
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then, he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.'When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.'

trespasses:تخلف-خطا
temptation:وسوسه-فریب



There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.'

pastor :پیشوای روحانی
congregation:جماعت-گروه

========


While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humour, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign
... 'Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust.'


oats:جو دو سر


========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
'Reverend,' said the young man, 'I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.'
The minister chuckled, 'I know what you mean. It's the same in my business.'



========


People want the front of the bus, The back of the church, And The centre of attention.


========
Give me a sense of humour, Lord
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!
:D:tt1::D

مريم
08-08-19, 08:25
Q:What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A:A good lawyer knows the law.A great lawyer knows the judje!!!
:D
*****

Mother:SO!You want to become my son-in-law?
Boy:Not realy!!!But I don't see any other way to marry your daughter!!!
:2mad:
*****

Pilot asking permission to land said:"Guess who?!?!?"
Controller switches the field ligths off and replied:"Guess where!!!?"
:cool:
*****

مريم
08-08-19, 08:33
Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months,
I'll raise it to 6000
. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.
:blink:
*****

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
:D

george
08-09-08, 23:20
a woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says:did you know your eyes match your swim trunks? he replied:why ? are my eyes bulging ?!

george
08-09-08, 23:30
GODISNOWHERE this can be read as "GOD IS NO WHERE" or GOD IS NOW HERE".everything in life depends on how u look at them.so always think positive

مريم
08-10-02, 09:00
این متن رو دیدم جالبه!البته یه بخشهاییش با فرهنگ ایرونی ما فرق داره به خودتون نگیرین!;)
15 Rules That India Lives by.....




1.The Other Side Law:

If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on
the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.





2. The No Queue Rule:

If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.




3. The Mind Over Matter Law:

If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another..




4. The Auto Axiom:

If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.




5. The In Spit Of Thing:

The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.




6. The Cinema Hall Fact:

If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.





7. The Brotherhood Law:

If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest to the other person that I have illicit relations with his sister.





8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right:

When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.





9. The Heart Of Things:

If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-formed chest into the depths of my soul.





10. The Name Game:

It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.





11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:

When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.





12. The Chill Bill Move:

When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.





13. The Ogling Stare:

If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chick that passes by, you're gay.





14. The Bus Law:

If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.





15. The VIP Rule:

There are only 3 important persons in this city -Me, I, Myself!

مريم
08-10-09, 09:18
Love and Marriage



Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.


Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.


Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.


Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.


Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.


Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .


Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.


Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.


Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.


Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

مريم
08-10-23, 08:44
!!!???How to kill your mother in law

:o:confused1::blink::ohmygod::blink::confused1::o

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law' s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.
But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband! D great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-! law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.
Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy.
She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper!r, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."
Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gaveto her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

مريم
08-10-25, 07:00
یعنی تو این کافه هیچ کی زبان انگلیسی دوست نداره؟!!!ای بابا!!!
من سعی می کنم متنهای ساده رو بذارم تا مشکل خاصی واسه لغت نداشته باشه...اگه زیادی ساده هست بگین !

How To Be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think about yourself.

2. Talk about yourself.

3. Use the personal pronoun "I" as often as possible in your
conversation.

4. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.

5. Listen greedily to what people say about you.

6. Insist on consideration and respect.

7. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.

8. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.

9. Never forget a service you may have rendered.

10. Expect to be appreciated.

11. Be suspicious.

12. Be sensitive to slights.

13. Be jealous and envious.

14. Never forget a criticism.

15. Trust nobody but yourself.

فکر می کنم لغت سختی نداشته باشه ولی واسه رفاه حال عموم معانی برخی از لغات رو می ذارم!

Miserable:بد بخت!
greedily:حریصانه-از روی طمع
consideration:ملاحظه-رسیدگی-پاداش
Demand:سکوی خطابه در کلیسا
Sulk:قهر-اخم
grateful:سپاسگزار-ممنون
rendered:تحویل دادن-منتقل کردن
appreciated:قدر دانی-احساس کردن
suspicious:بدگمان-مشکوک
slights:مقدار ناچیز و بی اهمیت
jealous:حسود
envious:حسود و بد چشم
criticism:انتقاد-نکوهش

مريم
08-10-29, 06:52
به به !!!می بینم این بخش خیلی ازش استقبال شده!خوش به حالمون!:D
من که از رو نمی رم !;)اونقدر مطلب می ذارم تا.....!اصلاً بابا یه بار یکی از داستان ها و لطیف هاش رو بخونین شما باور کنین جالبن!بعدا غصه می خورین که چرا زودتر اهمیت!!!این موضع رو درک نکرده بودین!!!!;):D
الان یه چیزی رو اقرار می کنم!:blushing:
راستش می خواستم یه متن رو بذارم ولی وقتی خوندمش دیدم مناسب نیست!واسه امروز هیچ مطلبی نمی ذارم!
شما اصلاً همون داستانهای قبلی رو بخونین تا من یه متن خوب پیدا کنم واستون بذارمش!:D

مريم
08-11-03, 07:38
A group of country friends from

the Cottonwood Baptist Church

wanted to get together on a regular basis,
socialize, and play games.

The lady of the house was to prepare

the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be

the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others.



Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.

But mushrooms are expensive.



She then told her husband, 'No mushrooms.

They are too high.'



He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture

and pick some of those mushrooms?

There are plenty in the creek bed.'

She said,
'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'



He said,

'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're

OK.'



So Janet decided to give it a try.



She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, diced
them for her smothered steak .



Then she went out on the back porch

( and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog

a double handful.



Ol' Spot ate every bite.



All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot

and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to

affect him, so she decided to use them.



The meal was a great success, and Janet

even hired a helper lady from town to help
her serve.



She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap

on her head.



After everyone had finished, they relaxed,

socialized, and played 42 and dominoes.



About then, the helper lady from town

came in and whispered in Janet's ear.

She said,

'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.'

Janet went into hysterics.



After she finally calmed down,

she called the doctor and told him

what had happened.

The doctor said,

'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it.

I will call for an ambulance and I will be there

as quick as possible.



We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump

out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine.

Just keep them calm.'

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance

was coming down the road.



The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases,
syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one,

they took each person into the bathroom,

gave them an enema, and pumped out their

stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out

and said, 'I think everything will be fine now.'

and he left.



They were all looking pretty weak sitting around

the living room and about this time the helper
lady came in and said,



'You know, that snake that moved around Ol' Spot
is still there!!!!!!'

Unrated
08-11-03, 11:00
ادامه بدید شما! دوستان در خفا دنبال میکنن :d

مريم
08-11-03, 14:10
ادامه بدید شما! دوستان در خفا دنبال میکنن :d
شما و دوستان همگی لطف دارین!ولی ترجیح می دم دنبال کردن دوستان علنی باشه تا در خفا!:)

مريم
08-11-05, 08:01
این هم یه زنگ تفریح!!!

http://www.picup.ir/images/g0j19xr2xxac9dc2bnc.jpg (http://www.picup.ir/images/g0j19xr2xxac9dc2bnc.jpg)

fati_art
08-11-25, 00:47
The Engineering Life.............


There are 2 people always next to you:
1.
The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time he sees you.


2.
The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for u .... And busy in his world
In between its you, who struggles with the deliverables and schedule.


The perfect picture is given below......




http://www.picup.ir/images/vdmiq83slzdtqwmtwll2.jpg

mahtab20
08-11-27, 12:45
The First 3 Years of Marriage


In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. :blushing:

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. :tt1:

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. :ohmygod:


Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But Mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.;)

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
:blink:Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

مريم
08-11-27, 17:42
What is the similarity between Bill gates and me? Dont know? So simple, He never comes to my house and I never go to his house ...EGO PRoblem

************ ********* ********* ********* *

We sms Each Other B'coz U Think Im Nice i Think Ur Nice U Think Im Cool i Think Ur Cool U Think Im Sweet i Think Ur Sweet U Think Im Smart i Think Ur RigHT

************ ********* ********* ********* *

Who Said English is Easy

Fill this blank with
Yes or No?

1. __ I don't have a BRAIN.

2. __I dont have SENSE.

3. __I am STUPID.

************ ********* ********* ********* *

I can't live without u. Without u I can't even imagine 2 exist. U r in my breath, I can't live without u even for a second.
HOLD ON...HOLD ON...
, I am talking about OXYGEN.

************ ********* ********* ********* *

I want to Share 'EVRYTHING' with U. Your JOYS ur SADNESS, ur HAPPY MOMENTS. Every Single SECOND OF THE DAY. Let's START with Your "BANK A/C

************ ********* ********* ********* *

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

************ ********* ********* ********* *

Sweet persons talk from HUTCH. Lovers talk from AIRTEL. Beggers talk from BSNL. Beuties talk from SPICE. But BRILLIANTS never talk. They send SMS

************ ********* ********* ********* *

Sardar Director: U Should jump 2 d swimingpool frm 100 ft Height.
Actor: i don't know swiming.
SardarDirector: dn't wory, their is no water.



(http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funonthenet/join/)

mahtab20
08-11-29, 09:51
Improve Your Memory! :D
Two elderly couples (http://www.okhdar.com/) were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic (http://www.okhdar.com/) you went to last month? " "Outstanding, " (http://www.okhdar.com/) Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest (http://www.okhdar.com/) psychological (http://www.okhdar.com/) techniques (http://www.okhdar.com/) - visualization (http://www.okhdar.com/), association (http://www.okhdar.com/) - it has made a big difference (http://www.okhdar.com/) for me. "


"That’s great! What was the name of that clinic? " Fred went blank (http://www.okhdar.com/). He thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke (http://www.okhdar.com/) across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem (http://www.okhdar.com/) and thorns (http://www.okhdar.com/)? You mean (http://www.okhdar.com/) a rose? Yes, that’s it! " Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic? " :blink:

mahtab20
08-12-02, 11:15
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.


:D



A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

:D

مريم
08-12-12, 09:03
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

Best Regards,

Noel Miranda .

mahtab20
08-12-12, 11:51
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!? " he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas! “. Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, :D“I had to walk home.”

مريم
08-12-18, 09:32
Parvinder and Habib are beggars in UK. They beg in different areas of London .



Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.



Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.



Habib says to Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'



Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?



Habib's sign reads 'I have no work. I have a wife and 6 kids to support'.



Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3



Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?



Parvinder shows his sign....



It reads, 'I only need another £100 to move back to

my country!!!



(http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funonthenet/join/)

مريم
09-04-07, 10:08
Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their
lives. It seems that Sam is dying of cancer, and Moe comes to visit
him every day.

"Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both loved baseball all our
lives, and how we played minor league ball together for so many years.
Sam, you have to do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, and I know
you will go to Heaven, somehow you've got to let me know if there's
baseball in Heaven."

Sam looks up at Moe from his death bed, and says, "Moe, you've been my
best friend many years. This favor, if it is at all possible, I'll do
for you."

And shortly after that, Sam passes on. It is midnight a couple of
nights later. Moe is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding
flash of white light and a voice calls out to him, "Moe.... Moe...."

"Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Moe, it's me, Sam."

"Come on. You're not Sam. Sam just died." "I'm telling you," insists
the voice. "It's me, Sam!"

"Sam? Is that you? Where are you?"

"I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really
good news and a little bad news."

"So, tell me the good news first," says Moe.

"The good news," says Sam "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better
yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet,
we're all young men again. Better yet, it's always spring time and it
never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we
want, and we never get tired!"

"Really?" says Moe, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest
dreams! But, what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching next Tuesday"

pitch
در بیسبال به معنی توپ را به طرف چوگان زن پرتاب کردن هست.

مريم
09-04-11, 16:06
این یکی آسونه حتی واسه دوستانی که زبانشون خیلی قوی نیست.جالبه بخونین...


12Step Internet Recovery Program:

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper
Like I used to, before the Internet.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand
Typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan
Dinner before even thinking of the Internet.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends
And family that are Internet-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the
Internet.

7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling
Them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is
Necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to
balance My checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed
Sometime... And the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

black rose
09-07-18, 11:57
روزي از روزها گروهي از قورباغه هاي کوچيک تصميم گرفتند که با
هم مسابقه ي دو بدند .

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
هدف مسابقه رسيدن به نوک يک برج خيلي بلند بود .

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. ...

جمعيت زيادي براي ديدن مسابقه و تشويق قورباغه ها جمع شده بودند ...

The race began....
و مسابقه شروع شد .....

Honestly,no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
راستش, کسي توي جمعيت باور نداشت که قورباغه هاي به اين کوچيکي بتوانند به نوک برج برسند .

You heard statements such as:
شما مي تونستيد جمله هايي مثل اينها را بشنويد :

'Oh, WAY too difficult!!'
' اوه,عجب کار مشکلي !!'

'They will NEVER make it to the top.'
'اونها هيچ وقت به نوک برج نمي رسند .'
or:
يا :
'Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!'
'هيچ شانسي براي موفقيتشون نيست.برج خيلي بلند ه !'

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
قورباغه هاي کوچيک يکي يکي شروع به افتادن کردند ...

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
بجز بعضي که هنوز با حرارت داشتند بالا وبالاتر مي رفتند ....

The crowd continued to yell, 'It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!'
جمعيت هنوز ادامه مي داد,'خيلي مشکله!!!هيچ کس موفق نمي شه !'

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
و تعداد بيشتري از قورباغه ها خسته مي شدند و از ادامه دادن منصرف
...
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
ولي فقط يکي به رفتن ادامه داد بالا, بالا و باز هم بالاتر .....

This one wouldn't give up!
اين يکي نمي خواست منصرف بشه !

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the
tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
بالاخره بقيه ازادامه ي بالا رفتن منصرف شدند.به جز اون قورباغه
کوچولو که بعد از تلاش زياد تنها کسي بود که به نوک رسيد !

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to
know how this one frog managed to do it?
بقيه ي قورباغه ها مشتاقانه مي خواستند بدانند او چگونه اين کا ر رو
انجام داده؟
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
اونا ازش پرسيدند که چطور قدرت رسيدن به نوک برج و موفق شدن رو پيدا کرده؟

It turned out....
و مشخص شد که ...

That the winner was DEAF!!!!
برنده ي مسابقه کر بوده !!!

The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. ... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in
your heart!

Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
نتيجه ي اخلا قي اين داستان اينه که :
هيچ وقت به جملات منفي و مأيوس کننده ي ديگران گوش نديد... چون
اونا زيبا ترين رويا ها و آرزوهاي شما رو ازتون مي گيرند--چيز هايي که از ته دلتون آرزوشون رو داريد !
هيشه به قدرت کلمات فکر کنيد .
چون هر چيزي که مي خونيد يا مي شنويد روي اعمال شما تأثير ميگذاره
Therefore:
پس :

ALWAYS be....
هميشه .....

POSITIVE!
مثبت فکر کنيد !

And above all:
و بالاتر از اون

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!
کر بشيد هر وقت کسي خواست به شما بگه که به آرزوهاتون نخواهيد
رسيد !

Always think:
و هيشه باور داشته باشيد :

God and I can do this!
من همراه خداي خودم همه کار مي تونم بکنم

Pass this message on to 5 'tiny frogs' you care about.
اين متن رو به 5 تا 'قورباغه کوچولو' که براتون اهميت دارند بفرستيد .
Give them some motivation!! !
به اون ها کمي اميد بديد !!

Most people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS Leave footprints in your heart
آدم هاي زيادي به زندگي شما وارد و از اون خارج ميشن... ولي
دوستانتون جا پا هايي روي قلبتون جا خواهند گذاشت

مريم
09-08-01, 06:49
از خدا خواستم عادت‌هاي زشت را تركم بدهد.خدا فرمود:خودت بايد آنها را رها كني.
I asked god to take away my habit
God said, no It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up

از او درخواست كردم فرزند معلولم را شفا دهد.فرمود: لازم نيست، روحش سالم است؛ جسم هم كه موقت است.
I asked god to make my handicapped child whole
God said, no body is only temporary

از او خواستم لااقل به من صبر عطا كند.فرمود: صبر، حاصل سختي و رنج است.
عطاكردني نيست، آموختني است.
I asked god to grant me patience
God said, no Patience is a byproduct of tribulation
It isn't granted, it is learned

گفتم: مرا خوشبخت كن.فرمود: نعمت از من خوشبخت شدن از تو.
I asked god to give me happiness
God said, no I give you blessings happiness is up to you

از او خواستم مرا گرفتار درد و عذاب نكند.فرمود: رنج از دلبستگي‌هاي دنيايي جدا و به من نزديك‌ترت مي‌كند.
I asked god to spare me pain
God said, no
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me

از او خواستم روحم را رشد دهد.فرمود: نه تو خودت بايد رشد كني. من فقط شاخ و برگ اضافي‌ات را هرس مي‌كنم تا بارور شوي.

I asked god to make my spirit grow
God said, no You must grow on your own
But I will prune you to make you fruitful

از خدا خواستم كاري كند كه از زندگي لذت كامل ببرم.فرمود: براي اين كار من به تو زندگي داده‌ام.
I asked god for all things that I might enjoy life
God said, no I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things

از خدا خواستم كمكم كند همان‌قدر كه او مرا دوست دارد، من هم ديگران را دوست بدارم.خدا فرمود: آها، بالاخره اصل مطلب دستگيرت شد.
I asked god to help me love others, as much as He loves me
God said: Ahah, finally you have the idea

mahtab20
09-08-06, 06:15
A man wanted to drive to Littlemorehampton. He lost his way. He





stopped and asked someone,





"Which is the road to Littlemorehampton? "_





".Turn right until you arrive at the farm of Mr Humbert"_





But which farm is Mr Humbert's?""_





".The one on the corner of the road that goes to Littlemorehampton:D:victory:;)

hiandtek
09-08-06, 13:02
A true story
In 1967 Minusouta state in U.S.A , An old man sitting on his rocker opposite his potato farm and writting a letter to his only son who was in jail because of bank robbery :
Dear my son
I really don't know how to explain my feeling ,it is so hard to say , but this is a reality ,
your Mum passed away last month , and I feel so lonely and sick ,
I remember last year when you and me worked in farm and your Mum was alive and
enjoyed that we were working together ,
As you know , This month I should strat to plowing the farm and preparing the field for
implantation , but I am not able to do so ,I wished ,you were here to help me.
Stay well
Your Dad
After his son received the letter ,he got so sad and worry about his Dad and crying,
He couldn't sleep all the night and thinking what to do...
In early morning he sent a emergency telegram to his Dad :
Please Dad don't plow the farm ,I hide gun and weapon in there,
For God sake don't do that .
Your Son

It was about 8 o'clock in the morning and the old man was sitting on his rocker
as usual ,and blame himself and all the world about his fate that he could not
work on his field .
Suddenly , alot of FBI members and local police surrounded the farm and start to
search all the field ,after some houres ,they left without finding any weapons or guns.
The old man ,sent a letter to his and explained what happend ,and asked his son ,
what did you do ???
His son sent another telegram and said : Dad, now go and implant your potatos ,
the field is ready for that, this is the only thing that I could do from here.
I love you
Your son
I will find a way Or I will make a way

lady_atieh
09-08-29, 09:49
Do you know the relation between your two eyes?
They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together.
Even though they never see each other.....
Friendship should be just like that .
Life is like hell without Friends

مريم
09-08-29, 16:22
Do you know the relation between your two eyes?

They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together.
Even though they never see each other.....
Friendship should be just like that .

Life is like hell without Friends

or we can say friendship is seeing other one nor your self!
and see eachother in the mirror of life!

shohrehm
09-09-21, 14:30
If you can feel beauty in the colors of a small flower
then you still have hope
اگر میتونی زیبایی رنگهای یه گل کوچیک احساس کنی
پس هنوز امید در تو زنده است

mahtab20
09-09-28, 19:57
Wife: You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?"

Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Harold interrupted.

"I haven't added them up yet."

مريم
11-04-07, 08:33
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest)...

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.



پ.ن:ببخشین نوشتارش یه ذره به هم ریخته اس.هر کاری کردم اصلاح نشد